These Advice shared by My Dad Which Rescued Us when I became a First-Time Dad

"In my view I was merely in survival mode for twelve months."

Former Made In Chelsea personality Ryan Libbey thought he would to cope with the challenges of being a father.

However the truth soon proved to be "completely different" to what he pictured.

Serious health issues during the birth resulted in his partner Louise admitted to hospital. All of a sudden he was forced into acting as her chief support while also caring for their baby boy Leo.

"I took on all the nights, every nappy change… every stroll. The role of both parents," Ryan stated.

Following nearly a year he burnt out. It was a chat with his own dad, on a park bench, that led him to understand he needed help.

The straightforward statement "You aren't in a good place. You need support. What can I do to assist you?" created an opening for Ryan to talk openly, ask for help and start recovering.

His experience is not uncommon, but rarely discussed. Although society is now better used to addressing the pressure on mums and about PND, less is said about the difficulties fathers go through.

Seeking help isn't a weakness to ask for help

Ryan thinks his struggles are linked to a larger failure to communicate between men, who often hold onto damaging ideas of manhood.

Men, he says, frequently believe they must be "the rock that just gets hit and stays upright with each wave."

"It's not a show of failure to seek help. I failed to do that soon enough," he explains.

Clinical psychologist Dr Jill Domoney, a researcher who studies mental health before and after childbirth, says men frequently refuse to acknowledge they're finding things difficult.

They can feel they are "not justified to be asking for help" - particularly ahead of a mother and child - but she stresses their mental state is equally important to the household.

Ryan's heart-to-heart with his dad offered him the chance to ask for a pause - spending a couple of days abroad, separate from the home environment, to get a fresh outlook.

He realised he needed to make a adjustment to focus on his and his partner's emotional states alongside the practical tasks of looking after a infant.

When he opened up to Louise, he discovered he'd failed to notice "what she needed" -holding her hand and listening to her.

Self-parenting

That realisation has reshaped how Ryan perceives parenthood.

He's now penning Leo letters each week about his journey as a dad, which he wishes his son will look at as he matures.

Ryan believes these will help his son to better grasp the vocabulary of feelings and interpret his parenting choices.

The concept of "parenting yourself" is something musician Professor Green - real name Stephen Manderson - has also experienced deeply since fathering his son Slimane, who is now four years old.

During his childhood Stephen lacked reliable male guidance. Even with having an "amazing" relationship with his dad, long-standing emotional pain caused his father had difficulty managing and was "present intermittently" of his life, affecting their bond.

Stephen says bottling up emotions led him to make "terrible actions" when younger to alter how he felt, finding solace in drink and drugs as escapism from the hurt.

"You gravitate to things that are harmful," he notes. "They might briefly alter how you feel, but they will in the end cause more harm."

Tips for Getting By as a First-Time Parent

• Talk to someone - if you're feeling overwhelmed, tell a family member, your spouse or a counsellor what you're going through. It can help to reduce the stress and make you feel less alone.
• Remember your hobbies - make time for the activities that helped you to feel like yourself before the baby arrived. This might be playing sport, meeting up with mates or a favourite hobby.
• Look after the physical stuff - a good diet, physical activity and when you can, getting some sleep, all contribute in how your mind is doing.
• Spend time with other first-time fathers - hearing about their journeys, the difficult parts, along with the good ones, can help to normalise how you're feeling.
• Remember that requesting help is not failure - looking after you is the best way you can care for your loved ones.

When his father later died by suicide, Stephen expectedly struggled to accept the death, having not spoken to him for a long time.

Now being a father himself, Stephen's committed not to "perpetuate the cycle" with his boy and instead give the stability and emotional guidance he did not receive.

When his son starts to have a outburst, for example, they do "releasing the emotion" together - expressing the emotions in a healthy way.

The two men Ryan and Stephen explain they have become improved and more well-rounded men due to the fact that they faced their struggles, transformed how they express themselves, and figured out how to regulate themselves for their kids.

"I have improved at… sitting with things and dealing with things," says Stephen.

"I wrote that in a message to Leo recently," Ryan adds. "I wrote, at times I feel like my role is to guide and direct you what to do, but the truth is, it's a two-way conversation. I'm learning just as much as you are on this path."